štvrtok 1. decembra 2016

We Only Fall in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime—Each One for a Specific Reason

It's been said that really only fell in love with three people in our lifetime


Yet, it's also believed that we need each of these loves for a different reasons.
Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. It's idealistic love - the one that seems like the fairytales we read as children.
This is love that appeals to what we should be doing for society's sake - and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn't matter if it doesn't feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be.

Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.

It's love that looks right.

The second is supposed to be our hard love - the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.
We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons - but we hang on. Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.
Sometimes it's unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation - most likely there will be high levels of drama. This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this storyline, because it's the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.

With this kind of love, trying to make it work becomes more important than whether it actually should.

It's the love that we wished was right.

And the third one is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be. This is the love that comes so easy it doesn't seem possible. It's the kind where the connection can't be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.

This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits - there aren't any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.
We are just simply accepted for who we are already - and it shakes to our core.
It isn't what we envisioned our love would look like, nor does it abide by the rules that we had hoped to play it safe by. But still it shatters our preconceived notions and shows us that love doesn't have to be how we thought in order to be true.
This is the love that keeps knocking on our door regardless of how long it takes us to answer.

It's the love that just feels right.

Maybe we don't all experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that's just because we aren't ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn't before we can grasp what it is.

Possibly we need a whole lifetime to learn each lesson, or maybe, if we're lucky, it only takes a few years.

What it really comes down to is if we are limited by how we love, or instead love without limits. We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone happy. We can choose to stay with our second under the belief that id we don't have to fight for it, then it's not worth having - or we can make the choice to believe in the third love.

The one that feels like home without rationale, the love that isn't like a storm - but rather the quiet peace of the night after.
And maybe there's something special about our first love, and something heartbreakingly unique about our second...but there's also just something pretty amazing about our third. 

The one we never see coming.
The one that actually lasts.
The one that shows us why it never worked out before.

And it's that possibility that makes trying again always worthwhile, because the truth is you never know when you'll stumble into love....

"You found parts of me I didn't know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real."  - Unknown


Credit: educateinspirechange.org and elephantjournal
Author: Kate Rose

štvrtok 12. novembra 2015

Feel good Thursday

We all know at least one person who is going through a tough time. Maybe they are having difficulties at their job, going through a break-up, or dealing with something heavier. It could be anything, big or small. Think back to one day that was particularly ugh. Did something uplifting happen – or could it have happened that would've made your day a little brighter?
Today I'm challenging all of us to reach out to at least one person who might need a little sunshine. Furthermore, I encourage you to make near-future plans. Whether that's swinging by their home with coffee and treats, taking them out for a hike or stroll around a park or doing something fun like seeing a movie. Little gestures like these can make a huge impact on someone's happiness. It's up to you not only to make yours a great day – but someone else's too!


Remember..kind is the new cool..

štvrtok 5. novembra 2015

Sweater weather



It’s 60 degrees. Sweater weather. Crisp air heard only through the rustle of the leaves. The golden light of the crack of dawn followed by those evening chills that never seem to go. Moonlit nights, fireside where you can hear the crackling of the flames. Definitely, it’s also time for sweaters, scarves, ankle booties, and hot tea. Or just curling up with a book and a knit blanket under my fairy lights. All I need is for the leaves to change and twirl in the wind. It’s the beginning of the November and it finally feels like real fall. It’s all magical. Enchanting. Autumn is my favorite time of year. I feel oddly relaxed, like I have been comforted by an old friend. I know I have caught those Autumn feels.

Here are some more things I am looking forward to this fall:

eating soups
drinking hot tea
practicing patience, kindness and humility
playing in the piles of leaves
enjoying the cooler evenings
wearing cozy sweaters
working on my personal side projects and business ventures
   while keeping my blog updated on a regular basis
traveling to see new places
wanting to continue saving!





štvrtok 22. októbra 2015

We do not remember days, we remember moments…

All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

MY PERSONAL JOVIAN-PLUTONIAN GRAVITATIONAL EFFECT


Sometimes it’s not you who chooses the book…sometimes it’s the book that chooses you.. Instantly. Pops out of nowhere. Makes you fall in love with it even though you have no clue what’s behind that first enchanting look. No questions asked. No prisoners taken. Nothing. Since I am that kind of person, enthusiastic book lover and devoted to reading.. I kind of surrendered.

Forget me my writing, sometimes I cannot put everything into sentences because many of  the important words just rush into my brain and I feel the need to write them down without forming a sentence (YES, I do have my board with sticky notes).

All The Bright Places is a story of two teenagers struggling with their own demons to make sense of life through the lenses of mental illness and depression. It is a heart-breaking story with lessons for us all.

Two seventeen year old young people, Theodore Finch and Violet Markey, suddenly meet at the top of the bell tower at their high school. The only reason they meet there, is that they both decided to end their lives.. But as they find themselves up there…the decision to die.. fades away.
In their U.S. Geography class, Finch rashly partners with Violet for a class project to see three wonders of the state of Indiana. These wanders of Indiana turn out to be the a journey they inevitably must take to learn a thing or two about life.

Wandering places:
Hoosier Hill, Blue Hole, …

The tale is narrated by both Finch and Violet.

In the following paragraphs I wanted to emphasise what I loved about the book so much.

Two compelling leaders
Theodore Finch - strong, intelligent, intense, alienated, persistent and yet so fragile. Desperately wanting to mean something, in the search of the Great Manifesto, feel something and stay awake.
Family: loving older sister Kate who chooses to turn her blind eye to his brother’s issues (I assume it’s because she knows she cannot help him), emotionally damaged younger sister Decca, absent-minded mother, abusive and self-absorbed father with his new family. 
No one to talk to.
Mental illness considered as a stigma.
His depression takes a toll on him, his behaviour starts to be wayward...

Violet Markey - bright, smart, beautiful, talented, frail. Broken dreams and future, ready to end her life because she feels like there’s no other option.
Family: Deceased sister Eleanor, loving parents, circle of friends.
Feeling guilty for her sister’s death.
Extenuating circumstances.
Thanks to Finch  she rediscovers the urge to write and creates a web magazine Germ.


Enriching on many levels
The story of the book is a constant reminder that all of us are different, all of us deal with problems in a different way. The easiest way is putting labels on people who are slightly divergent… It’s connected with bullying..
The story represents a scope inside the lives of two young people, so different yet so much alike.
Violet learns to live from a boy bidding farewells from his world for most years of his life. From a boy whose life he counts in days and not years, who teaches Violet to count her life on good moments, yet is incapable to take his own advice.
One thing for sure, you want to help Theodore Finch from the first moment you take him in, because he has that magic inside of him. Because above all he’s a good soul. Instead of being worshipped he’s put a label on him by his peers, teachers even his own parents. 

The one who never did anything to anyone except be born with different brain and different wiring.

One of the most inspiring and unique things about him is his taking down all his thought and writing them to creative sticky notes: unhappy, mad, bad,unpleasant words written down and destroyed / happy, pleasant and sweet words put on the board

What if life could be this way? Only happy parts, none of the terrible. Not even mildly unpleasant. What if we could just cut out the bad and keep the good? This is what I want to do with Violet - give her only the good, keep away the bad, so that good is all we ever have around us. (Finch)

Soul-elevating
It’s not what you take, it’s what you leave..

I felt instantly wiser and enriched after finishing the book :) Was it only a temporary feeling? Am I being too self-important? Don’t know.. That’s why I had to re-read it again. Answer some of my doubts, remind myself of the perfect adventures these too lovable creatures were on. Oh, and, holy mac, I fell in love with Indiana. Like big time. I need to visit all of those places. 

Bringing Awareness
What a terrible feeling to love someone and not be able to help them.

Brilliant take on mental illness, depression, bipolar disorder, manic depression… These people are normal. They are humans. And sometimes no matter how much we try to help our friends, our relatives with their fight with their own monsters, we cannot properly help them by pushing them into going to rehabs or taking pills.. We can only become great listeners, be there for them, constantly, no judging, no pretending.
It's one of the earnest and honest portrayal of mental illness that I’ve come across….
One of those bright souls from the book is definitely Mr. Embry, the school counsellor, who wanted to help but couldn’t. Finch’s resistance was holding him back. Mr. Embry (“Embryo”) became only peripheral character though a very important mediator in students’ daily life. In the end he felt guilty for Finch’s death.

When it comes to Finch's family...
Each member is coping with the divorce and years with abusive father before on their own. Sister Kate is leaving home, unable to move on with her life, distracted mother who has lost the ability to listen and help, because she can’t save herself..Unnatural pastimes of the youngest member of the family, sister Decca.
The fact, the kids are forced to visit their father and his "shiny" new family every week, makes them drift apart even more.


Funny
Researches about suicides presented in an easy and comprehensive way. Author’s quick with, serious things are spiked with self irony making the whole book very sweet, bittersweet.. I was laughing out loud about the Australian Finch..He became the closest Finch to my heart.

Page turner
Beautiful words. Characters are marvellously portrayed. The plot is vivid, dynamic and makes you not even imagine those two on their special places, but also feel… Not many books make you feel something. This one definitely did.
Passages from Emily Brontë’s “Wuthering Heights”… Virginia Woolf's "Waves".. Lyrics to Finch’s new song… Just wonderful!

Sweet take on love between two broken souls
And in that moment there’s nothing I fear except losing hold of her hand. (Finch)

She is oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. The same elements that are inside the rest of us, but I can’t help thinking she’s more than that and she’s got other elements going on that no one’s ever heard of, ones that make her stand apart from everybody else. (Finch)

Although their love and friendship deepens throughout the wanderings, they both are put on a different paths. Finch being pushed aback with the negative relationship with his father,  weak one with his mother and sisters that didn’t notice anything, or better, didn’t want to see a thing.
Later withdrawing from the relationship, fantasising about the ways of committing suicide, having pessimistic thoughts, fights with his schoolmate, overdosing with pills and seeking help at a support group for teens, giving away his possessions and moving to his closet. Slowly saying goodbye. to the world. We simply cannot underestimate the severity of a mental illness...sometimes it's not curable, sometimes it got its hooks deep inside of us..
After a meaningless fight which sets Finch off, he decides to leave…. To enjoy one of the brightest days of his living.

Don’t want to say goodbye
Last chapters are those most powerful ones… serve as a memoire…as a retrospective.. 

Until now the only book that resonated in my life was ‘Wuthering Heights’ with its compelling plot, twisted yet so deep characters.. ATBP came out of nowhere making me feel that feeling once again. When I say I fell in love with these two character…it’s a very faint denomination… I was right there with them while on the bell tower, at the classes, on their journeys, making me weep, gasp and smile. Thank you for letting us be this “omnipresent observer” you were able to create for your readers.

***

Thank you, Jennifer. I realized I need to take a break and focus also on the little, trivial things... Some days I was so concentrated on the big things, big gestures I almost forgot how important are those little things I was mindlessly passing by back in the day. Paying attention is the key. Thank you for making me stop and think. Think deeper. Think clearer.
Yes,  I understand now better that plenty of smiles and laughters may be fake because a lot of people hide their real selves, busy being fighting their own demons…(I’m  not a problem. Not a diagnosis. Not an illness. Not something to be rescued. I’m a person)…you just never know..sometimes the only thing people need is a hug, a simple “hello”, being reminded how amazing they are, and how they truly matter… You are all the colors in one, at full brightnes..…and sometimes a simple sincere smile can determine how we are going to seize the day…And sometimes it’s a simple book…


The problem with people is they forget that of the time it’s the small things that count.

piatok 16. októbra 2015

Oh, these autumn flavors

Nothing tastes better than a banana-chocolate cheesecake and a gingerbread latte!!!
Happy autumn everyone!  
xx

štvrtok 15. októbra 2015

Autumnal bucket list

The seasons seem to come and go so quickly sometimes. Fall in particular seems to pass in the blink of an eye (considering the fact we have like two seasons in a year, one long hot summer and an incredibly long winter - WINTER FAN!!).  This year has already been very special for me, so I'm going to make the time to truly embrace this time of the year and all it has to offer.

Fall is such a wonderful season, from the falling leaves, collecting chestnuts, long walks, super delish season fall coffees, decorations, chilly weather, rain jackets to the traditional dishes.. it really should be enjoyed to the fullest. This year I decided to make a short-but-sweet bucket list of things to do in the coming months. I'm going to take time this weekend (or maybe the next one) to schedule some of these activities into my calendar, to be sure I don't have any regrets come December.




My fall to do list:

  • go to Fall festivities in the city
  • take a road trip somewhere with spectacular views of changing leaves
  • read tons of books (I'll cut it down to at least four)
  • write a blog about the greatest book I finished reading only a few days ago
  • bake a pie
  • train my pug not to sleep in our bed!
  • live my life to the fullest
Hope I didn't forget anything... What's on your bucket list?



pondelok 1. apríla 2013

The [intoxicating] 'Fifty Shades' trilogy


I came across an expression written by some reviewer saying "Either you love it or you hate it" which seems to me, like there is no other chance than seeing things in black and white....What if I see things in Fifty Shades? Of GrAy? Heres my take.

Spanking, flogging, being blindfolded and other pleasurable  ways and manners to enjoy physical love.. All of this and many more I learned about „thanks“ to the massively appreciated and condemned trilogy called Fifty Shades, read by lets say a vast majority of the female population. When it comes to the paperwork, a.k.a speaking in numbers (and not from my perspective), these three extraordinary books rank 2nd, 3rd and 4th place in the chart of bestsellers according to New York Times. Yes, thats what they are. Extraordinary.


Bon appétit!


Lets say you’re at a restaurant and youve been served some foreign meal which looks regular in some way (the first impression) but once you sink your teeth in it, youre overwhelmed by various flavors. The spicy one (Mr. Grey and his lifestyle), the sweet one (Anastasia and her capability to influence Mr. Grey), the uknown one (development of the plot), the known and slightly a boring one, because you come across it regularly (the repetiton of facial expressions and words – above all, facial expressions..Its a safe bet that rolling eyes and biting the bottom lip belongs to Anastasia and cocking the head and „stormy“ eyes you relate to Christian without hesitation) and last but not least the „wanting-more“ one (once you finished the third book). So, as a guest, Ive been served a pretty contradictional but yet one really delicious course which I loved and enjoyed. I AM fully satisfied! Verdict? I´d say 8 / 10 points and Im adding it to „my faves“ list and make sure to order it another time. Thank you!

I am truly happy that something that bold, original and unusual is right there in the bookstores waiting for us to buy it.
Any complaints? What about the fact that over 65 millions of copies has been sold worldwide so far?
Enough? Are you up to discover the world of Anastasia Steele, naive literature student, an insecure, full of contradictory young woman with low ego which gets higher as her personality gets bolder once she meets Christian Grey, an exceptionally rich enterpreneur, a tormented being with a broken and shattered soul, fighting his own demons from past and living a high class life?

Check, please!

In the spirit of one of my favourite quotes from the book, Ill say goodbye to you, guys, as Mr. Christian Perfect Grey would do: